A Biscuit Conspiracy

I have uncovered new evidence in the Great Biscuit Debate. For the three people in the world I have not yet bored senseless with this question, here is a brief recap:

1. A biscuit in England is called a cookie in America.

2. A biscuit in America is a scone (minus sugar) in England.

3. A scone in England is called shortcake in America.

4. Shortcake is a type of biscuit in England.

It’s a circular sort of problem, as you can see, and I can’t imagine what in God’s name possessed everyone to start swapping names about. Americans look at the jam and cream on a scone in horror, while Brits are constantly perplexed at the concept of putting gravy on a biscuit.

I’d just about got used to it, but now I feel cheated. While watching an episode of Lost this afternoon, I noticed that Sawyer referred to the yummy treat he won from the bear-training cage as a fish biscuit.

Fish biscuit. Yes, biscuit.

It then occurred to me that, when we give out treats to the pets, we use dog biscuits.

Dog biscuit. Not dog cookie.

It would appear that you buggers have known what a biscuit is all along. The only question remaining is why animals are allowed them, but not humans.



2 responses to “A Biscuit Conspiracy

  • Roberta

    Love it!!
    What I want to know is, (and perhaps you can shed some light as you’re over there?) what exactly is this thing that American’s call an English Muffin since we don’t have them in England!!?
    I once told someone I thought it might be our equivalent of a crumpet but she thought not as she’d had crumpets whilst in England and says they weren’t the same thing.

    It’s a mystery…

    I love your circular problem, great deduction! :))

  • WillowC

    It’s not a crumpet, no, they don’t seem to stock those over here. It’s one of these, just a muffin to us:

    Bloody brilliant for egg and sausage sandwiches!

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